Old Mantality

​We are led to believe that the older members of society are crotchety, set in their ways, and otherwise a burdensome suck to society and its social security system. True these may be, we need not forget that which they do provide: practical wisdom. Old people are full of these nuggets of experience that should not be taken for granted, for it is them who hold our keys to the past. Luckily, I have had grandparents to learn from.

I don’t know how many times my grandfather has told me the same old stories over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, but appreciate the hell out of hearing them because I might just learn something new each time. Through the life lessons that he and others in their golden years have disclosed to me, I have discovered a number of threads of truth that pervade many-a-elderly teachings. These are lessons they had to live to learn, but if you listen to your elders (a moral that seems to have been forgotten), you might be able to avoid learning the hard way.

Thinking through all of the bits of old knowledge dropped on me, I’ve collected a list of virtues that comprise a simple philosophy that helps guide me to think like an old man. It’s not just a philosophy, but a state of mind, one I like to call the Old Mantality:

Family is number one.

• We live in a world of travel. It’s easy to leave home, and theoretically easy to return. But, once you start having your own family and becoming enveloped by your local community, it’s difficult to find the time to travel. We (yes, this includes me) have been trending away from our families and small towns to pursue something “greater”, without realizing that there is one thing that you can’t get back in this world, which is time with your family. Besides, good families build good communities and good communities build good societies. It sounds kinda lame, but old men would totes agree.

Don’t stress over what other people think about you.

• I have heard this time and again from old people. “If there’s one thing I could change, it would be caring what other people think about me.” It’s such a freeing thought to realize that no one cares that much about you. I don’t mean this in a callous way; rather, most people are too concerned with their own busy lives. We all have a million things to do everyday and don’t have the mental energy to waste on other people’s affairs. This is a lesson for over thinkers (like myself).

Drive slowly. What’s the hurry?

• My grandpa is horrified by my driving, and for good reason: he perceives speed at roughly 1000x’s that which I do. “You’re accelerating too fast. Break before you need to. Who cares if there are cars that line up a mile behind us. Fuck them.” Seriously, who cares? Everyone is always in a hurry to get somewhere five seconds sooner. The faster you drive, the greater you increase risk. On top of that, you’re wasting gas and causing greater deterioration to your breaks. So, protect your break life, as well as your own, because arriving to your destination two minutes earlier won’t make a difference. Actually, instead of trying to make up the time in driving, you should just leave earlier. It’ll do wonders to your conscience.

There’s never a right time.

• Love. The next career move. Having a family. There’s never a perfect time for anything. If you’re planning for just right moment, then you’ll spend all your days planning. Life is full of surprises and everything has a funny way of working itself out.

Sex, drugs and money don’t make happiness.

• All the stress we have over having sex, going to parties and making enough money to buy things and impress others is most of the stress we have. In the end, what you’ll truly wish you had more time for was time itself. Perhaps I’ve taken this lesson to heart because I’m an artist, so I’ve accepted that I’ll live a penniless life not filled with fast cars and women. Or, maybe I’m lucky enough to understand that such materialism is only comfortable to the rat racers. Regardless, most old people value a simpler approach to life, aiming for that which yields gratifications greater than those of a superficial, sense-based pleasure.

Moderation is key.

• This one is pretty simple, but one of the hardest to follow. In everything we do, it’s important to practice moderation. No matter how tempting it may be (like cake, or Doritos for me) or how good it might appear (exercise, for instance), too much of anything is just that: too much.

Unless you’re on your death bed, you’re a young pup, so always maintain a youthful spirit.

• Even as I get older I still hear older people say, “You’re still young…” Get used to it, because they’re right! No matter how old you get, there is always someone older to remind you how young you truly are. Don’t try to feel older than you are. So, with that...

Enjoy it while you can.

• With every wrinkle in their flesh, older folk remind us our own mortality. Their withering bodies should serve as an example to make the most out of your mobility and youthful energy. While I can, I’m going to make to most of hiking trails, fishing in streams, and expanding my mind by learning new and interesting shit every day. Life is hard and we all die. It’s the scary truth, so enjoy as much as you can while you can.

By no means is this a complete list of the lessons I’ve learned listening to elderly persons’ ramblings. Unlike us young whipper snappers, they’ve had (a lot) of time to reflect on their lives. So, instead of dealing with our annoying parents, in-laws, or grandparents the “easy” way--by to throwing them in a nursing homes to be someone else’s problem--I suggest that we care for our own loved ones and extract as much of their advice as possible, because there will come a day when we wish we had taken it. Although we live in an age where the world of knowledge is at our fingertips, must remember that Google cannot make up for true wisdom.

File under: philosophy